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Isang Pagpupugay sa Makulay na Buhay

(Birthday Song playing)

Maligayang Kaarawan Aking Kaibigan!

Dahil walang IBANG makakabasa ng entry na 'to napag desisyonan kong sabihin lahat ng nais kong sabihin sa loob lamang ng Labing siyam na minuto at pagkatapos ng Labing siyam na minuto ay magkakaroon ng karagdagan labing siyam na segundo para itama ang mga nais at isaayos ang mga salita at pangungusap. Nawa'y mabigyan ko ng hustisya ang mga salita at magamit sila ng angkop at maayos. Para simulan, gusto kong magpasalamat sa lahat ng taong patuloy na nagmamahal sa akin, hindi ko man maiparamdam ang lubos kong pagmamahal sa inyo nais kong malaman ninyo na ako ay nagagalak na nagkaroon ako ng mga mapag-unawang Pamilya at mga Kaibigan. Batid ng aking puso ang walang katapusang pasasalamat sa aking Nanay at Tatay sapagkat kung hindi dahil sa kanila, tiyak, wala ako dito ngayon. Higit sa lahat sa aking mga minamahal na kapatid, maraming salamat sa inyo, huwag kayong mag-alala makakamit natin ang mga nais natin sa takdang panahon. Hindi ko man maibigay sa inyo ang lahat ngunit naisulat ko na kung ano mga nais kong ihandog sa inyo, siguro ito'y magsisilbing munting regalo sa mga panahong tayo'y magkasama at ang hindi mapantayang pagsasama nating magkakapatid.
(The Distance playing)

Nais ko ring pasalamatan ang aking mga kaibigan na siyang aking kasakasama sa loob ng tatlong taon. Ang mga alaala natin sa dormitoryo at boarding house ay magsisilbing masasayang alaala na tiyak akong mananatili sa ting mga puso. Sa mga "gala moments" natin sa downtown, 24 hours McDo kuwentuhan at Jacksridge unplanned moments na hindi malilimutan. Sabay tayong magtatapos sa April 2009!
(Pagsubok playing)

At higit sa lahat sa mga taong Naging parte ng aking buhay. Nauukit ang kirot na naranasan ko sa mga alaalang pilit na nagpapaala sa akin sa ating mapait na nakaraan. Hindi man ako naging mabuting kaibigan sa iyo nais kong malaman mo na mahal na mahal kita. Hindi ko man naipadama sa iyo na ikaw'y importante nais ko lang malaman mo na ikaw'y nagsilbing masayang alaala. Ang away-bati moments natin noon sa JICA building, ang Talong at harutan moments tuwing Christmas party at ang Tukso moments natin sa ating mga Crush, Hindi ko man maibalik ang takbo ng oras ngunit ang alaala natin, mapait man o makulay, malungkot man o masaya ay angkop na para mapatunayan kong naging masaya ako Noon, at mas naging masaya ako ngayon. Magkahiwalay man ang landas natin ngunit ang mga alaalang iyon ang siyang nagbubuklod satin. Muli, pinapanalangin kong nawa'y magkaroon tayo ng makulay na bukas at sana kung magkrus man ang landas natin makisama sana ang TADHANA. Salamat kaibigan, salamat sa tawanan at sa mga sulat mong patuloy na nananahan sa aking puso.
(Makita Kang Muli playing)

Mukhang malapit ng matapos ang mga gusto kong sabihin ngunit hindi ko pa nasasabi ang isa ko pang nais ipalabas o ipabatid. Sige, sisimulan ko na. Para sa'yo tong huling "talata". Ikaw! Oo, ikaw! Salamat sa'yo aking pinakamamahal na matalik na kaibigan. Sana nakilala kita noon pa para mahaba-haba ang ating pagsasama. Mahal na mahal kita. Hindi ko man maiparamdam kung gaano ako kasaya, sana Kahit Papano maramdaman mong Importante Ka! Salamat sa masasayang alaala, sa mga Sleep-over Sessions ko, Gala Moments kahit di enough ang datong, Away-Bati-Away at Away moments, Poetry Sessions, Chat/Chikka Moments natin, lahat 'yan naranasan ko, ang tinatawag nilang Kaligayahan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kita lagi inaaway pero sana isipin mo na kahit ganyan ako, di ko nanaising makipag-away sayo ng super tagal. Bati sana tayo Always. Alam kong hindi ka makakadalo sa aking kaarawan, okay lang yun sa akin, di naman yun makakasira ng pagkakaibigan eh. Sana sa muli nating pagkikita, wala sanang nagbago sa atin. Kung ano mang desisyon ang nanaisin mo, hindi na ako makikialam (LOVE LIFE TO BE SPECIFIC). Alam kong malaki ka na. Marami akong mga Ayaw sa mga desisyong binitawan mo pero okay na lang yun lahat sa akin kasi alam kong ginusto mo Lahat yun. Sana sa mga natitirang buwan na tayo ay maaring magsama, punan sana natin iyon ng di malilimutang mga alaala. Masaya ako at ikaw ang aking Matalik na Kaibigan, sana ganoon din Ikaw. Mahaba-habang talata ang maisusulat ko tungkol sa'yo ngunit kelangan ko ng wakasan ang entry na 'to.

(Dahil Ikaw playing)
*fade-out*
(Breakaway playing)


At sa muli, nais kong Pasalamatan ang mga taong nagbigay kulay at naghandog ng kasiyahan sa munti kong buhay. Mahal ko Kayo. Maraming Salamat!

(Sweet Escape playing)

P.S
Sa mga lalaking minamahal ako,Patuloy pa sana ninyo akong mahalin. Haha.Hindi ko man masuklian ang pagmamahal na binibigay ninyo sana maramdaman ninyo na hindi lahat ng taong may gusto sa akin ay binibigyan ko ng atensyon. Suwerte na kapag magrereply ako ng :) (smiley) at hindi matatarayan. Hintay-hintay lang. Ika nga nila, Love Can Wait and Love SHOULD WAIT. :) Keep loving me Boys. hahaha

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Once Upon a Time....

May 2,2008

10:38 pm

Angeles City, Pampanga

It’s been two months since I last wrote my “love poems”. They were written out of boredom but honestly speaking they were really made to “satisfy” one’s hunger. Perhaps, you’re wondering why I started my entry with such an introduction. Yes, you’re right! I miss Mr. Simulacrum and I miss writing to... Let me continue the mystery I once started, someone wants to be in love again. Let the flowers bloom this time- let the snowflakes cut the air, let all the clichés touch your lips…

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0.1.1

You sat, lonely, waiting at the side of the Boulevard
It was dusk.
People were busy chitchatting, laughing out with their stupid jokes-
But you, what’s new with those sad and misty eyes, as if cut like a knifed horizon,
As if bleeding like the sky.

You searched for something inside your bag,
Face went blank-
I glanced at you for the last time
Our eyes met, seizing the frozen moment.
They smile like lovely sunflowers,
They were the eyes
I ever wished to gaze at.
When the wind blew,
They die shyly
Feeling like acid on a wound.

After a moment of despair, I went
to look back at the horizon-
it was still the same,
the day was quick, as sudden as the moment
when I last laid my eyes upon you.

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0.1

To think of you when I’m sad
is to think of a playground with children licking lollipops and creams
To think of you when I’m happy
is to think of a couple who walks under the tearful blanket of heaven where bodies are drenched as their hands are tightly interlaced .

To think of you when I’m angry
is to think of a woman who is sad and suddenly a child appears giving her a piece of candy.

To think of you when I feel pain

is to squeeze rose’s thorns
And offer my bleeding hands to you.

To think of you about it

is to have an angel sent from heaven
By God, who keeps me alive

although the world is really sad.

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1

Tonight, the moon flaunts beauty.
It stays lovely as your façade.
It never dances yet it sings
silently with the wind where slabs
of clouds create irregular notes
of bliss and awe.

Tonight, when I speak of nothing but its beauty,
I write your name in the sand.
They glitter like tiny diamonds in the doomed sky.
Your name I write with great passion
That doesn’t vanish solely by the wind
But by the inevitable tears of heaven.

I write and speak of beauty
like you and the moon’s
where my words go endless
searching-
stargazing for the only perfection
that glares

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25

Our love seems like a scent carried by the wind,
It smells of sampaguita and sweet morning jasmines.
Inch by inch, the scent smells like a poison
Where our hearts bleed with
Serpent’s mephitic venom
Where it has the color
Of rose’s sweetsour juice.


Your love I adore,
It has all kinds of brilliance
Like tiny diamonds and
Shimmering stars-
It speaks of real beauty
And above all they
Purport perfection,
It is never flawed
Unlike that of the vulture's-
Tainted and black.


Two hearts-
Yours and mine
Pure yet something
Clandestine,
Hidden under the
Forbidden labyrinth
Where it breeds ruthless
and selfish passions.

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19

What is it with dancing that you like so much?
Is it true that when you dance you think of
Nothing but just the passion?

How does it feel like dancing?
Do you dance like swaying leaves of a tree
Or does it feel like kissing and embracing the
Moves of the air?

Where can I find you when you’re dancing?
Is it through the seven-colored arc that you tiptoe
or just sleeping and dacning in your dreams while feeling a great slumber under the fluffy pillows of the cloud 9?

Why do you need to love dancing?
What is it with dancing that it can drive you to euphoria?
Can I be your prince for a while?
So I can accompany you doing some waltz

while day dreaming, tiptoeing above the rainbow of the forbidden heaven?

Or can I just be your pair of shoes
So I can direct you to the moves
That needs no pause until
Our hearts stop beating.

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13

How happy you were when

I saw you inside that cabaret,

A stick of cigarette with fumes

as pallid as your lips,
You smeared the bottle

with your bloody red lipstick,
Candy bars and lollipops you love
to lick with a tongue

so faithful and young,


Oh, how he loved to see you being dumb-
A perfect asshole,
You were clothed with diamonds and pearls
but you look pathetic,
they were never lovely-
facade with rust underneath.

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16

I wanna kiss you,
I wanna feel what’s natural
I wanna experience what’s pure
I wanna taste luck.

I wanna fuck you,
I wanna hold you tightly,
I wanna conquer what’s impossibly conquerable,
I wanna suck nature’s healthy juices.

I wanna feel you,
I wanna kiss
I wanna fuck
I want to come across
an asymptotic bliss.

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20

Your love I adore,
It has all kinds of brilliance
Like tiny diamonds and
Shimmering stars-
It speaks of real beauty
And above all they
Purport perfection,
It is never flawed
Unlike that of the vultures-
Tainted and black.

Two hearts-
Yours and mine
Pure yet something
Clandestine,
Hidden under the
Forbidden labyrinth
Where it breeds ruthless
and selfish passions.

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15

How happy I am to find you-
The luckiest doll I acquired
From your living hell of
Lusts and envious desires,

I am a man of spades where
Life is but an arena of women-
Free to sell everything,
Like flesh and seeds,
Like dancing stupid and dumb whores
Like you and your cigarette-

Filthy and Lewd.

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20


The last time I saw you,
You were dancing with stilettos on
The red night gown-
Swaying, having its own dance with the air.
Rose petals scattered on the
white silk blanket where you’re fingers glide
on their direction-
freely.

You were having the last
Dance of the moonlight sonata
When the wind slowly
Breezed-out, silently
Leaving with the traces of
the sweetest evening delight.

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9

Tonight the stars will twinkle
and the light from the moon
will give beauty to nature
where trees, flowers and
mountains’
shadow create deviant color-
It’s monstrous figure will
turn into an angel
Where we can
be happily spend
our time lying
on a blanket
and wishing
all the stars
to fall.

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3

Tears,
Oh, let those tears fall
Let them shower our burning passion,
Let them show that they care,
They whisper sadness silently
A feeling so impossibly true.

Tears,
Yes, they are present-
A brother to the wind
An element of pain
An inevitable feeling-
So fragile like those
Misty pair of eyes.

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2-12-9-19-19

There, above the spectrum colored sky

I hopped inch by inch,

I went above the clouds

With my hands

as free as a bird’s wings

and soar together with the

chanting of the wind

where the trees,

flowers and mountains

were the only creatures

that could hear.

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The Small Giants

I carry your weight all the day,
You miss me when you have nothing to do
So you’ll walk and spend most of the time kicking the wind,
I love it when you kick nothing-
It doesn’t hurt me
It makes me feel human-
As human as my master.

When you exhaust me,
I cry without a tear-
Without any traces of fear and pain,
I cry with the shoulders of the earth
They weep with me with no hesitation.
They make me smile,
I always feel human when happiness
sings with me,
the earth’s living follicles tickle me each time
My master drags me.

I love it when my master frees me from my cage,
I am helpless,
I am nothing but an instrument,
The beat that each of my stamp creates
Hit me like a pounding gavel,
Perhaps, I should feel lucky,
For I feel that I am one with my master
My master which I call my body,
As helpless as me.

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*Ouch

A leaf falls-
LONELINESS.

*e.e cummings

A tear falls-
PAIN.

*Damsel


~ I honestly am not happy.
Wanna know why?
Ass knows everything, lalalalala.
At least, I know I am human. :)
Thank You.

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In anger there's pain.

In pain there's emotion,

Emotion has LoVe,

Love is envious,

When People are envious

they become selfish.


Selfishness is a choice,

Choice is destiny,

destiny is cruel.


Note: To Mr. Ass, naalala ko pa yung fave quote ko nung Elementary,
Destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice, haha. :P

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So long(bitter) sweet summer

I love it when there's heat,
summer escapades,
summer adventures,
& most especially
summer love.

I love it when there's heat,
his body,
his lips,
his love-
will never leave me.

I love it when there's heat,
intensified emotion,
angry souls.

Heat, heat, heat
Oh please, burn me...
(In hell)

Note: You're tired, aren't you?
Just, keep waiting...
Promise, I'll come. :)

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Kissing his ASS Goodbye.

When I keep reprimanding
The world knows how to give its REASON-
Everything seems to be Important.

When I let you know of my actions
your hurtful words whisper
like tiny stabs of knife-
keeping me weak all the time.

Everything is useless,
hitting the air by a stone,
dancing without music,
Singing without the notes.

You are addicted by your fears,
the more you dislike the feeling
THE MORE IT BRINGS YOU TO EUPHORIA.

So now, I'll leave it all to the GOD
and just whisper my last words...

we played it fairly.

Note: Hey you, Mr. Ass. :) See you @ ...
I will always be the Queen of Spades!
Good luck!

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